There’s a conversation I find myself in more often than people might expect when talking about overseas giving.

“Isn’t there corruption?” Yes. “Does the money get there?” Not always. “Shouldn’t we fix home first?” Fair point.

I agree with all of it. I’ve seen the waste, the lies, the inefficiency — up close, some of it with my money and not all of it was in my country Australia, some of it was overseas. These aren’t abstract concerns.

The question isn’t whether the risks are real — they are. It’s what we do with that reality.

Like businesses, some charities are a money pit, and for some, a dollar targeted into the right place will make a huge difference, have a magnificent multiplier effect of innovation, excitement and goodness.

For me, it’s never been about proving that giving is 100% perfectly efficient or universally successful.

Today all our life expectancies are double what they were two hundred years ago. That didn’t happen by not doing, as the previous millennia proves. Around the time of the industrial revolution, people acted via imperfect systems with uncertain outcomes. They acted anyway and stuff worked.

Well, it worked for me, how about you? I think I’d rather 84 years of relative happiness than 30 years of toothache, hunger and maybe syphilis.

So here’s my question back: not doing avoids many negatives, but how does not doing get anything done?

Front of mind is foreign aid waste – thats the new headlines. Countries are pulling back. I get the argument closer to home. 

The Western world has its own challenges. The United States, for example, spends more on healthcare than any country in the world — lots more — yet 60 countries outperform the US on life expectancy. So yes, work to do, but is it more money? In Australia we spend 250 times more per person on healthcare than in Tanzania so is your money closer to home a game changer…we are 5 years of life expectancy better off than the US and in the Top 10. Maybe. I don’t know.

Have you travelled much — not the hotels in the middle of rich cities, I mean really travelled?

Here’s what it seems to me: someone born into the poorest conditions, given your income, wants almost exactly what you want. Their life would look remarkably familiar with the same $ as you: a safe home, a proper bed, a clean toilet, good food, music they enjoy, even the same brands and comforts. Coke, anyone? We are far more alike than we are different.

The gap now isn’t really chromosomes or hormones or brain cells – at the most basic levels of existence, it’s money.

Until you have enough food and water, security, education and basic healthcare its money… you need more money.

More money for you and me is largely circumstance, that is when you are born. Luck.

I’ve been lucky.

I also want to keep making my own luck for me and my family. Maybe you don’t agree, but I’ve found that building happiness comes more from sharing than hoarding. Money is a great thing — love it — but it has its limitations as American healthcare shows, as it also is in my hands, beyond the basics.

So using the extra $, in our family’s case about a tenth to a quarter of our income, to be involved beyond our immediate circle, has done more than help others. It has helped me. I’ve learned a lot. It has helped my family, my children. Our perspective, mental health, and our resilience in and to the world — all have improved through our involvement in directly helping others overseas.

But its overwhelming?

Problems of children in war or the sheer numbers? Overwhelming….. yes  sometimes…. like life is sometimes. But I find comfort in the now and the personal — helping one individual, I can see, feeling that connection. And like our ancestors, I can’t get it all done in my lifetime, but I can help pay it forward. That’s how I don’t feel overwhelmed…I become just part of human life…… a wonderful thing.

So Why give overseas?

I do what I do because it feels good, and I don’t think there’s a higher reason. I’ve checked all the religious texts, the philosphers theories and the podcasters self helping highlight. I do it because it feels food…. for me……personally. That’s what I think. That’s the why for me.

When I choose to help a child receive surgery, pay part of a health worker’s wage, or give a dollar toward equipment for a developing hospital, I do it with clear eyes. I try to make it count through proof-of-care verification, so I don’t ignore the flaws, I don’t like waste but I understand them as part of the landscape.

A landscape that worked 250 years ago, and one that works now. Sub-Saharan Africa. Life expectancy. Doubled in my lifetime. Thirty to sixty. Vaccines. Education. Donations. It’s all working. As child deaths lower so do family sizes and education and wealth increases, fewer deaths from wars, less poverty. The world continues to be a better place year on year and I’m happy to be part of it.

A child helped today contributes tomorrow – to their family, their community and eventually to mine and yours. Not every time. Not perfectly in a straight line. But often enough for many to keep doing it.

If this resonates with you, that’s great.

If it doesn’t, that’s okay too.

It’s your journey mate.

All I am doing is saying the why for me.

It feels right. It feels good.